Yoga Teacher Training: Staying Present

Today I was tired. I woke feeling like you do after not working out for awhile and then slaying a work out. The soreness that makes everything hard. You know the one, and if you don’t your missing out!

We had a class at 6:20am and then another one at 10:00am. My body was sore but I was able to get deeper into the poses then the day before. My attention today was on being present and not allowing my mind to go off into stories about the past or future. I noticed my mind went very judgemental criticizing my body image and trying to compare myself with other people in the room. I noticed this thought and brought back my mind with the mantra: Yoga starts here and now. All we have it right now and we can only do our best in that moment, comparison and judgement add nothing nice to the moment and I want none of it!

I hear these stories in my head but they are just that… stories. They are not me and if they are not helping me I let them go and focus my attention on something else like my breath the sensations in my body the strength I feel radiating inside of me. I also started to offer myself a lot of gratitude, to my body for doing these poses to the best of its ability and my mind for working with me to be present, and everyone else in the room for showing up and doing their best and to be alive and experiencing this life with all its trials and tribulations ,it is all just so beautiful.

We learn’t about some of the philosophy behind yoga including the Eight Limbs of Yoga: Yama, Niyama, Asana, Pranayama, Pratyahara, Dhahrana, Dhyana, and Samadhi. Which are a type of rule book or way of living that leads to enlightenment. We delved into the first two which deal with the moral codes, Yama and Niyama. There are five yamas; Ahimsa (nonviolence), Satya (truthfulness), Asteya (nonstealing), Brahmacharaya (continence), Aparigraha (nonconvetousness), and there are five Niyamas; Saucha (cleanliness), Samtosa (contentment), Tapas (heat; spiritual austeritie), Svadhyaya (study of the sacred scriptures and of oneself), Isvara pranidhana (surrender to God/Universe).

The first Yama, Ahimsa (nonviolence) is hard for me when it comes to self-harm and when I self-harm I know this effects those around me. It’s that small sometimes loud voice that tells me I am not good enough, pretty enough, strong enough etc. I do not get consumed by this voice anymore it just something I know needs addressing. This voice started when I was a child it was created by not being provided for emotionally and having way to much to process at way to young of an age. It is a part of me that feels abandoned, neglected, distrustful and deep down it’s a part that wants to protect me form being hurt by keeping me small. This part is isolated from the whole of me it can not see my magnificence, the light that radiates not just from within myself but everyone.

Do you have a voice like this? I find the more I try to push it away the louder it gets but when I stop and go into it I can see its just a scared child. This judgemental part of myself needs love, compassion and needs to be taken out of its isolated existence. It’s much easier to Identify these parts of yourself with another person that can help walk you through connecting to this part from your true Self so you can listen to it and heal it. This is all easier said then done and it is easier having a coach guide you through the process of connecting to your true authentic Self and the parts of yourself that are isolated and afraid so you can listen to them and take them out of isolation to join the whole. It’s a journey to self-love but there is a path that everyone is welcome to walk down.

Namaste